It is annoying that after every word “I can’t speak Dutch, English please”, the man in front of you speaks English from 7 to 70, the more annoying thing is that you can’t understand the man. It’s been 17 months since I’ve been here, and I still have trouble talking to people. In fact, he is not talking, he is listening, he is telling, he is telling, I do not understand anything. Unlike everyone else, I can speak, but I cannot understand the other side. Or I think I understand, it turns out I completely misunderstood. So funny stories emerge. We laugh a lot while sharing them with our loved ones. However, my “feeling world” is crying out loud 🙁 I’m extremely sad but I never let it go.

Keep working, trying, tearing yourself apart so that I can understand two words… I told you, I’m speaking unlike everyone else, but I can’t understand. I was very curious about this and researched it. Conclusion: I didn’t know how to listen, so I didn’t listen to people. (I didn’t tell Mahir this. He would say I’ve been telling you for 15 years, anyway.) Of course, the fact that I learned this after all these years was not good for my family, close circle, and friends. I am trying to understand what they are saying by listening carefully.

Before I came here, I thought I was very talented at learning languages. I would say that I have a tendency to foreign languages. I’m laughing so hard now at what I said. I’m learning too slowly, I can’t seem to relate this situation to age.

If you are going to speak a different language abroad, you must go through the following stages.

1) Looking at the face of the person who is talking to you “sweetly”.

2) Do not nod and grin as if you understand him.

3) Gaining time by saying sorry and repeating the sentence.

4) Guess what the speaker means from the sum of what he said.

5) To be able to understand and chat.

I won’t tell you what stage I’m in right now, but I’ve done most of it in a way that you’ll laugh at and I’ll remember as a wound in the past.

The thing was very funny, for example; For the first time, I drop the kids off at school. The teacher is explaining something. I politely make eye contact and nod my head with a slight smile on my face, confirming everything he says. But I don’t understand anything. When the teacher finishes his speech, I thank him and ask him to send me what he said by e-mail. The teacher is confused, I leave full-blown.

Well, I was not very happy about this situation either. Go home, translate the e-mail sent by the teacher from the e-mails, try to understand, there is nothing to do, the conditions…

Also, I don’t want to forget this moment; My daughter had a problem with her teacher in piano class. The principal entered the classroom and got angry with the teacher for why you didn’t call the family. Then when he saw Ada, he said, don’t call, send an e-mail. In the evening, Ada came home and told me about the incident, they thought it would be more appropriate to send you an e-mail, says Mom. Men know what will happen to them, talk to me on the phone…

I’ve become something of a sadomasochist here, I’m having a hard time with language, but I also enjoy this job, new words, new people, new stories… I’m in a confused mood, sometimes everything is too good, sometimes upside down. If life is full of surprises, life surprises me as much as the fish in the aquarium eats the cat. Everything in my life, good and bad, is mine. My decisions, my rights, my wrongs, my life. I open my arms wide and embrace them all. I have a long road ahead of me, after English, there is also Dutch. Without squinting and putting my hand on my forehead, I look far away at the intersection of the horizon line and the red sky, trying to see my future, as I get older, the image becomes blurry, Don’t panic! Bring my glasses, the Dolce & Gabbana one?